midday on the 9th of this month a woman was standing by the front
door as i approached it
she looked bemused, lost
when i asked what the matter was she immediately started crying
i put my hand on her shoulder
she fell into my arms
i was appalled
never was it more obvious that a woman needed love and attention
as i was gently rubbing her shoulder and speaking as compassionately
as i could she responded
she stopped crying
within a minute or two she had perked up and was ready to go on with
the day
i gave her a peck on the cheek
she looked surprised and went on her way
a couple of days later she was by the door again
it was obvious she had come for more affection
i opened the door and asked her in
she stepped into the hallway, there was some conversation
we came into the living room
she didn't want a drink or watch the telly
she just wanted to be in the company of that person who had given her
attention before
i held her hand and each of us said several sentences
within two minutes she was ready to leave
again i gave her a peck at the door as she left
a day or two later on the way to the shop she was walking towards me
when we got close to each other she put her arm through mine and it
felt right to let her leave it there
we walked back to where i lived
again she declined food or drink or entertainment
what she wanted was me as a companion
that was the pivotal moment
it had been four years since i last had a relationship
perhaps we both needed love and affection
on this occasion we kissed on the lips
six or seven minutes had passed and it occurred to me that a bonding
of the relationship could be done by going for a walk
she liked the idea as well and we walked around the neighbourhood
arm in arm for about an hour
in that time she laughed at my jokes, made some astute comments and
sharp observations
i think the thought "this is a set-up" flashed across my mind
she was well savvy
we went back to her place first but she didn't want to or couldn't settle
there so we came back to mine
at my place she said she didn't want to go back home and left me to
suggest she stayed with me
she fell asleep about 10 and i about midnight
we started the following day about 6 am
i was committed to doing something at lunch time but we had time to
go into town for a walk and do some shopping
we got back about 10 o'clock and as soon as we were off the bus and
looked in the direction we were going it was clear something was up
i could see three police vehicles and four or five uniformed police
it seemed every couple of steps we took more appeared
in total there six vehicles and between 8 and 12 or police in
uniform were involved (there was an occasion 30+ years ago when
the next door neighbour called the police to report her child missing.
two police cars arrived and three men in uniform. the child had fell
asleep under a mound of blankets on her mum's bed)
the overkill of police smacks of oligarch orchestration
you just don't send half a dozen vehicles and 8 to 12 police to a
missing person report
i thought we were moving into a murder scene
but why were people looking at us?
someone shouted "here they are"
then we did become the centre of attention
another four or five uniforms and non police materialised and among
the civilians was the weasel in the chicken coop
the weasel had been laying it on thick to the police
he told the police i had forced her to stay at my place and who knows
what else
up until the moment they saw us the police thought they
had a salacious abductor on their hands
marlene became the size of a postage stamp as she withered under the
onslaught of recriminations
i was expecting to be handcuffed at any moment
it settled down quickly enough though
i was forgotten and marlene was led off
a policeman came to interview me that afternoon
he was satisfied nothing illegal had happened
he asked me for my contact number in case marlene went missing
the following morning at around 8 am i called in on marlene
by now i knew she liked being out and about and asked her to come
into town with me
i wanted to buy her some clothes and be as kind as i could
i thought that it would be the best way for her to get over the previous
days trauma
on the bus on the way into town i noticed she was smiling with her
teeth showing and looked and saw that what was making her
happy was a child doing childish things 
here was a woman who delighted in a childs character
it was a complete surprise
apart from my mother i hadn't known a woman who actually
empathised with children before
my feelings for her deepened
her feelings for me were plain to see
she wanted to please me and done as i asked
she became agitated when she met what she thought was unnecessary
we applied for a bus pass but she didn't have anything with her that
would prove who she was
she found it unreasonable that someone would need to prove
who they are
she started to say a few choice statements
a quiet word from me was sufficient to keep her amiable
we had a drink in a cafe during the shopping and i was pleased and
surprised yet again when she started nodding to the beat of my
favourite music
i couldn't believe it
a woman my age who was into house music !
i thought "sheesh, we're going to have some fun"
we had bought three items of clothing and were on our way
for another drink when the phone rang
it was the policeman who had interviewed me the previous day
he wanted to know if marlene was with me
i told him and he asked me to meet him
we were on our way to meet him when a police car pulled along
side of us
he wasn't going to wait a minute longer than he had to in order to get
his hands on marlene
a police woman got out of the car and started talking with us
after a couple of minutes she began talking to someone on her
mobile set-up
one of the things i remember her saying was "no cause for
both marlene and i felt we were being unnecessarily
still, best to go along with it and keep things as smooth as possible
within two minutes the man who had interviewed me the day before
the policewoman asked me to to get out of the police car and talk to
when marlene and i became seperated i realized she was going to be
taken away
i voiced my disapproval
he said nothing
unbeknown to me arrangements had been made to put marlene into a
controlled hospital environment (under lock and key) the day before
while we spoke i took the items we had bought out of my backpack and
walked towards the car to give them to marlene
he stopped me and told me to give them to him and he would give
them to her
i realized he wasn't going to let me talk to her
so i didn't ask him but walked towards the car marlene was in to speak
to her
he told me to stop
he no longer existed for me so i didn't
the police think they can do that
they think they can seperate two people who are happy with each other
i went to the window and gestured to marlene to wind the window
she did that but received the command not to say anything
i'll be haunted by the pleading look she gave me that said do something
her beleif that i could make the best things happen were shattered
her expression was that of a child being seperated from the one thing
in their life that gave them comfort
everyone completely failed to recognise that i was the best thing that
could have happened to marlene and was her best and perhaps only
chance of living a truly happy life
some of the things about this incident has the footprint of oligarch
marlene's chance of a normal and happy life have been scuppered
i liked marlene because she had spontaneity of character
i liked the fact she liked the same music as me
i liked her ability to experience children's happiness
i liked her uncomplicated outlook
i liked the way she didn't know who i am and liked me just for me
although marlene may never read this there may be other marlene's
who might
it's the times we live in
there are many people who have a natural tendency to make things
worse and it's not always possible to see them coming
things go on because there's a handful of desperate men who make it
so and who can do that because his terrible love enables them to
i managed to see marlene today
we kissed, she clamped my arm through hers and then she started
"i don't want to be here" she said through the tears
i could feel marlene's anguish
we were together for about two minutes when a nurse who recognised
me 'done her duty' and alerted male staff to my presence
again, two people who wanted to be together were separated
so the situation is someone who is unhappy can be kept unhappy
because she/he is not able to make her/his own decisions
yet she/he is able to take the decision to be happy but cannot realize
that decision
since when did happiness and ill-health or sadness and health belong
together ?
'bin saying it for the last 25 years and will be saying it for the next 25
years... "i'm surrounded by loonies"
this destructive outcome to the writer's endeavours to increase the
quantity and or quality of life for individuals and the collective is
nothing new
it's been going on since 1992 when he made his voice public
there are 18 000 children dying every day
this you already know
what you didn't know until now is that every day 10 000 of you who
could have had more life this undulation will not experience more life
this undulation

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